Funnies

A co-worker sent this to me today. Thought I’d share. ๐Ÿ™‚

Jokes for snowboarders:

Three snowboarders are riding in the backseat of a car. Who is driving? The sheriff

What do you call a snowboarder who has broken up with his girlfriend? Homeless

How do you tell a snowboard from a vacuum cleaner? It’s how the dirt bag is attached

How does a snowboarder introduce himself? “Sorry dude.”

A skier walks into a bar at the ski area and says “Hey, you guys wanna hear a snowboarder joke?” The bartender says, “Well, I’m a snowboarder, the guy on your left is a snowboarder, same with the guy on the right, and a couple of the folks behind you as well.” So the skier says, “Okay, I’ll tell it a little more slowly then.”

A guy finds out he needs a brain transplant. The doctor proceeds to show him various brains. One brain, which belonged to a skier, cost $500. Another, which belonged to a snowboarder, cost $5,000. Perplexed, the guy asks the doctor about the price difference, to which the doctor responds: “Well, the boarder’s brain has never been used!”

Jokes for ski instructors:

“Mommy, mommy, I want to be a ski instructor when I grow up!” “No Johnny, you can’t do both.”

At a party, how do you tell who the ski instructor is? Don’t worry. He will tell you.

On a date, what does a ski instructor say after the first hour? “That’s enough talk about me; now let’s talk about skiing.”

How many ski instructors does it take to change a light bulb?ย  2. One to unscrew the bulb and one to analyze the turns.

A ski instructor died and went to heaven. He saw St. Peter at the Pearly Gates but there was a line waiting to get in, so he went to the head of the line and told St. Peter that he was a ski instructor and he should therefore be allowed to go in without waiting. St. Peter said, “Even though you are a ski instructor, you must go to the end of the line and wait your turn like the rest.” Not wanting to jeopardize his chance, the man went to the end of the line as told, grumbling to himself about not being used to waiting in line. Then the man saw another ski instructor go up to St. Peter at the head of the line. The saint looked up and waved him in. The man went back to St. Peter and asked him why he let one ski instructor go to the head of the line and not him. St. Peter explained, “That was not a ski instructor: that was God.”

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