Well, it’s official. I won’t be returning to Boston in the fall after all.
It went against my gut feeling from the start, and the more I learn and explore the more I realize I’m nowhere near done learning and exploring and nowhere near ready to settle into a single place and career. This is probably the scariest choice I’ve ever made, but I’m content that it’s the right one. My future is now one big, open span of time.
There are still a lot of things I haven’t figured out yet. I haven’t figured out what I’ll do with myself come September. I haven’t figured out how I’m going to get all the things I left in my apartment in Boston back to Florida, or wherever else I should need them. I haven’t figured out what I WANT to do, which is exactly why I need this time for myself.
I have lots of ideas, and I’m excited about that. But nothing is certain, and that’s terrifying. Still, as scary as it all is, this feels right. I’ve made too many decisions in my life out fear of uncertainty, and it’s time to break that pattern.
In the end I know that everything will be okay.
marianaonthemove.com 
Hey Mariana! I am so proud of you and I really admire you for your courage. If you do soon figure out what you’re going to do in September – and how you’re going to do it – please do let me know. I can use a few tips. 🙂
P.S. I wrote about you. 😛
http://biancamariee.wordpress.com/2010/07/29/re-life-decisions/
I have to admit, this makes me sad but at the same time I’m really happy that you’ve decided to essentially not decide. Because deciding this early on any sort of career choice isn’t really worth it.
So of course I’m sad, how could I not be?? I won’t see your beautiful face all the time or get to hang around Boston with you like we planned but at the same time I wouldn’t be happy to have you back if you weren’t happy to be here!
Oh and that just makes me more sure that you should definitely put aside some time in December – Angie wants to go to Hawaii 🙂
Everything will be OK and you will do great.